a long walk to forever

my story, or walk in the forest rather, had no happiness/silliness/joy/etc. i was jealous when i heard everyone else's.

i was even walking with someone who doesn't really even seem all that important. important, but not that important to me. not that that person wasn't good enough, it's just why would be with him out of all people?

i was scared of the porcupine that i encountered, however, seeing that someone else was there, i impersonated that strong, brave, courageous person that i wanted to be seen as. but i knew what i really was.. i was weak, but i didn't want it to show. i waited 'til the porcupine passed completely until i started walking again. and it sucks because symbolically, that really is how i handle my problems.

my house was big, my ambitions are high. i want to succeed. but i had no fence, therefore, i don't know my limits.. i don't have my priorities straight. i don't know what to keep in and outside of my house, my life, my future.

my dining table scared me shitless. probably shocked the person i was telling this all to as well. my dining table was empty. gorgeous, however.. completely bare. i was embarrassed when i found out that this meant that i was unhappy. not embarrassed knowing that i was unhappy, it's not like i didn't know. embarrassed because, now, someone else did :/

i walked out the back door, into the over-grown field, and found a paper cup. questionable, unreliable, easy to break. (exactly like what the cup is supposed to symbolize) and.. i kicked it, i'm sorry. i kicked it.

my body of water was an ocean.. accurate, i guess. i tried to cross it keeping myself completely dry, i really did. failed, but it's not much of a surprise that i didn't succeed, when do i ever succeed? the tiny wooden boat that i was in kept rocking, my ocean wasn't calm. not like the oceans you see on tv, the ones you want to be at. my ocean was vicious. Scared, i was there, alone and wet, in the middle of the incensed ocean..