relationships for dummies

(i found this on the internet hahahah)

Take notes:

Trust no one. Yes, it is the foundation of all successful relationships, but once you let your guard down, you're fucked for life.

Loyalty doesn't exist. No matter how loyal your partner may seem, I can guarantee that at one point or another, he/she has picked up a knife and stabbed you in the back. No lie.

Attention you shouldn't give him/her because you're being clingy.

Gut Feeling is always right. You are never wrong about sluts.

Guys & Girls can never be JUST FRIENDS. If your partner uses that on you, surefire signal that there is something going on between them. If they use the line, "Oh, we can relate to each other a lot, so we just like talking." THEY ARE FUCKING. Trust me on this one man.

Time doesn't mean anything. Your relationship can last for 50 years, and while you may think that the longer you're together, the more he/she loves you... WRONG AGAIN. Rather, the more people they have been fucking around with.

Caring is wrong. Don't ask questions. Don't wait up to make sure they make it home safely. Let them drink and drive. Let them blaze and drive. Let them fill their lungs with all the drugs in the world. Let them get STD's. Why? Because the moment you ask questions, you are a clingy, controlling bitch

Talking on the phone for more than 5 seconds is annoying.

Bros before hoes: more like, bros, hoes, then you.

Love is for pussies.

Yes, 100% facts right there. Don't question it. Just take my advise and run with it. If you refuse to take it, well, have fun with your suicide