i love the calmness of the summer time. i've realized that as i've gotten older summer became less for parties and hanging out and more for self reflection. at least, thats how i see it.
last summer i went through one of the toughest heartbreaks i've ever experienced. i didn't break up with a boy but friends that i've had for 10 years. to me, that knife cut deeper than any boy could. so for me, last summer was about acceptance. acceptance of the past and why it's called the past, acceptance and appreciation of the real friends that supported me and acceptance of seeing years crumbling in seconds. that summer i realized that the quantity of the years of friendship had nothing to do with the quality of it and that you should never put yourself in a place you don't feel comfortable in.
then there was this summer. i stayed in more this summer than any other summers in the past. i think this summer was about realizing the importance of family and my independence. before this summer, my family rarely saw me and when i would show up to family parties, they'd seem surprised. lately, i've been enjoying quiet but happiness filled days at home. i don't know what it is about being home but i've never been to any other place where i've felt so calm, safe and goofy all at the same time. being surrounded by people who love me despite my freckles or how messy i wear my hair at home is so humbling. i've also gotten a lot closer to my grandma and god-son, i think that might be my favourite part of this summer.
i only have two more weeks left and it's gona be hectic.. damn. haha.