Nov 7, 2010

beauty & the beast

homeboy (i really should call him something else cus being around this boy doesn't give me the slightest feeling of being at home or comfortable in any way) said he didn't enjoy hanging around me and a couple other people because we weren't as pretty as other girls. haha. hearing about this from the other girls sick to their stomach from hearing something as stupid as this i kind of.. smirked? it was stupid. he was stupid and obviously his mind had put together a really distorted definition of what real friendship is.. it's sad really, that he'll never know what it is. however, having known this boy for as long as i can remember, i was a little offended. not so much at the fact that he doesn't think i'm good looking cus i could really care less but more because the way i looked physically affected his judgement of whether he should be hanging around me or not but other than that.. meh.

so i sat there for a while in silence while my friends were telling me about it all. i mentally drifted to some other place forgetting about what they told me. my friend messaged me and asked "are you upset or does it not bug you?" i wanted to say it didn't bug me and that whatever he had to say didn't really matter but seeing how pissed they were, i thought i should at least give my two cents in. i said i was a little upset because of the lack of respect, other than that.. i didn't really care.

i don't know if i've been desensitized by all the wrongs boys have done against me in the past (which is nothing to boast about, it really is kind of sad that it's come to this..) but i just didn't really care all that much. i have two eyes, a nose, a mouth, just like those other girls and he's going to judge me on the arrangement of it all? haha, pathetic.

i may not be a 10/10 a "dime plus 99" or whatever guys say nowadays but i do know and will not deny that i'm a far better person than he will ever be and i don't need no boy to validate that for me.

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