i was on the phone last night with a friend from high school. i was supposed to go out and celebrate kylie and mikey's birthday at fortune but i was really feeling out of it. so i stayed home. we talked and talked and talked until he said one thing that really hit me
alex: what happened to you since high school?
alex: you've become really bitter
me: wasn't i bitter before?
alex: not like this.
and i didn't even know how to respond to that and i don't even know the point of this post all i know is that it's sticking with me. maybe it's like what that girl said in the social network "You're not an asshole, Mark. You're just trying so hard to be" except my name's not mark and it's not that i'm trying to be an asshole but maybe i've tried so hard to be independent that i've forgotten how to get along with other people. i figured giving out second chances was permission for them to hurt me all over again and cutting people out of my life guaranteed that they wouldn't.
hm. i don't know.