Apr 19, 2010

".. she's so spoiled"

i've only heard this said behind my back a million times.

spoil [spoil] verb,spoiled or spoilt, spoil·ing,noun –verb (used with object)
to impair, damage, or harm the character or nature of (someone) by unwise treatment, excessive indulgence, etc.:to spoil a child by pampering him.

so i'm assuming that who ever has called me spoiled sees me as impaired, damaged or was treated unwisely growing up? okay..

calling someone spoiled isn't a blow at the person them self but rather a blow at their parents. it's as if you want to go up to their parents and say: "you did a horrible job in raising your child."

my mom is the greatest person i know, raising me on her own must not have been easy but she did and still does everything in her power to provide for me not only financially but emotionally.

so people are going to call me spoiled because i'm blessed with a mom that i can call my best friend? go ahead. you call me spoiled because my mom makes sure i have a safe way to and from places? be my guest. i'm spoiled because my mom taught me to never settle for anything less than i deserve? sue me. i'm spoiled because my mom tries to give me the greatest oppurtunities in life? boo hoo. i'm spoiled because my mom tries to give me things i want? what is the harm in that? news flash, a loving parent would give their child the world if they could. if those reasons are the modern day definition of spoiled then so be it, call me spoiled.

the way i see it, people envy the amazing relationship that i have with my mom and instead of choosing to acknowledge their jealousy they act as if they don't want it in the first place.

some people have it all wrong, i don't always get what i want. if i did, i'd have..
- the puppy i've been asking for since i was 5 (when the priest would ask us to pray for our own intentions, i'd ask God for a puppy)
- a couple snakes
- my own house
- my own car
- all the nail polish and make up in the world
- an itouch (i still have the first ipod video.... )
- 2 pianos, a saxophone, a flute and a piccolo
... etc.
but i don't get every single thing i want, even if i did, i don't see how it affects anyone else's life but my own.. especially the lives of whom i don't even speak to.

a lot of parents these days are always working, my mom included, but unlike a few other parents my mom doesn't use the "buy your kids' love" technique. she doesn't hand me a credit card and tell me to buy something nice for myself when she can't make time for me (which isn't even really an issue cus although she works a grave yard shift then a morning shift right after that, she always makes time.) she's taught me that great things are earned and not recieved "just because." she tries so hard to give me things that i need and sometimes things that i want but i love her regardless of whether she buys me anything or not.

so i don't get it, people. enlighten me..

is it because she never hit me as a kid? having grown up in a filipino community i've heard heaps of scary stories of my friends getting "palo" with a belt or wooden spoon and they acted surprised when i said i never received the same treatment when i was naughty. instead, i got time outs and my tv privileges taken away. i think either way of discipline you were taught the same thing: if you do something wrong, nothing good can come of it. so am i or my mom in the wrong for teaching me that without physical abuse? i'd like to think not.

because my mom didn't restrict me from doing a lot of things, i learned to set my limitations and goals for myself. she let me choose which schools to go to, who to date, what to wear, what not to do. i think her trust in me forced me to become a more mature person. i see her as a great example of a good parent. trusting, caring, encouraging. i've seen kids of parents that were untrusting, strict and very discouraging.. you know what the kids did? they rebelled. they tried to prove that they could do whatever they want, how ever they want, where ever they want. though i commend these kids for trying to go past the limitations their parents set for them, sometimes the extent they went to trying to prove that they could do something just because their parents said they couldn't wasn't always a pretty sight.

i'd like to think that my mom, the most amazing woman i'll ever know, raised me right and that her daughter isn't rotten, damaged or ruined.

so sue me if i have a good relationship with my mom.

people these days... *eye roll*


stacks. said...

exactly what i hear behind my back or to my face, exactly what i think when people call me spoiled because of the relationship i have with my mom, and exactly taking the words right out of my mouth. i love this blog.

Theresa Nguyen said...

i love you, you spoiled brat!

jenn said...

love ittttttt