mumsy

the thought of being a mother scares me. my friends and i like to joke around about being the first to have a baby but i wouldn't want it at all, not now. i do commend the girls out there that are young mothers, so strong and brave but not me. i feel like a baby, myself. i like the alone time, the quiet time to myself. i babysit when i don't have school and though i have fun being part of a world of no worries, i can't imagine being responsible for that tiny life. waking up at odd hours of the night to soothe that tiny life to sleep and hoping they believe a kiss on a scratched knee takes all the pain away. i don't know if i can do it yet. i know i'm meant to be a mother, but just not now.

/end

i think i'm going to try this new thing that if i'm up at around 3/4ish i'm just gona type whatever comes to mind and not put it in the drafts even if it doesn't make sense.