May 1, 2011

"No one has the power to hurt you like your kin" - India Arie

And just like that, after writing my previous post, I witnessed the worst of it. I was slapped in the face with the in between.

I never expected that the people you're supposed to count on the most support and love from could also be the people you get the least of it from. I do love my family with the entire being of my existence but I hate how they're making me feel about myself. It seems like every day there's another shitty comment and though I should see past the negative and see the underlying love beneath it, I can't anymore. The build up of all the negativity has finally gotten to the point of me hating who I am and that's something I thought I'd never have to witness. I used to see myself as a good person with strong morals but it seems that they can't see past the physical. In no way do I believe any of what they're saying because let's face it, some people are never going to be satisfied, but the repetition of it all is what's getting to me. All I want is to be treated with the same respect I'm giving to them but that's really more my problem than theirs isn't it? The expectation of getting back what I put out. It's not always going to be that way so again, I'm stuck in the grey.

I hope you know what you're tearing apart because of your false expectations of beauty.

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