20

i went to the casino the other day and lost.. but that's besides the point. lol.

at starlight, they brought in a new scanner which automatically displays your age upon swiping which is not new technology but when my ID was swiped, a big fat 20 appeared on the screen. 20? 20! i'm 20 years old and though people are constantly telling me i'm still young, i feel so far behind. i recently had a dream about being chased with knives and if i remember correctly, according to dream moods it's because i've been avoiding a big decision i have to make in life. though i'm not supposed to believe in those things, i couldn't help but feel like it made a lot of sense to my current situation.

what the hell do i want to do? where do i want to go?

i told my family if i couldn't figure it out by january next year, i'm going to become a nun. i don't even know if i was kidding or not anymore..